other woman - run on

why is it?
what is it?
this fear feeling
of lonely soul self -
conscious caught
in time warp thoughts
that resonate with empathy
of my own cruel callous-
dastardly - to set her free
in spite of all the sympathy
i feel for her
relentlessly
that stabs me in the heart
to read
the words of her despondency
on diary notes she left around
caught there in her love for me
and now shes gone
from here and i am left
with many memories
of kindness that she did for me
her beauty sweet and giving heart
a comfort
but even from the start
her nature of such wondrous form
could not undo the tragic harm
my heart was gone
from in my chest
another one i loved the best
and forsook her for some blind fool thought
and wicked was this lesson taught
the folly of my stupid heart
that left me with this sweet sweet girl
who should have really rocked my world
but love is more than can be seen
and no one understands this thing
every person i did meet
would say shes beautiful and sweet
i tried to love her
five long years
but when we cuddled
in night to sleep
my arms embraced
a fear that creeped
my mind communioned
with the void
and falling, falling falling
toyed with thoughts of dark despair
and held old dreams
now made from air.

lonely i feel now and hopeless too
i think of all my time with you
oblivions waters
it sinks beneath
I'm not just a fool
i am a thief.

Land lubber

sail the long day
stream of time
on the waters of my mind
brave the storm front
black cloud thoughts
the port
the journey comes to nought

the sea flows to the edge of earth
then plunges down
toward darker birth
here be dragons
warns the map
yet rudderless the sails do flap

sails of flesh and hull of bones
the captain steers
by will alone
time's current brung him to this sea
the sands of damned mortality

some say that on the golden sands
shining angels singing stand
and moor the ships
with ropes of light
to islands of intense delight
that burn like fires - distant bright
amid the twinkling skies of night

but LO i'v also heard the tale
on night winds blown
un-earthly wail
with sea foam voice
tormented tones
we sail our days
alone alone
until the ship with creaking groan
Breaks and sinks below the waves
forever lost in silent graves.

sung like blues.

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
a merry old soul was he;
He called for his pipe, he called for his bowl
he called for his fiddlers three.

what shall we play
the fiddlers say
and cole sat back and scratched his head

"i dont know the name of the song i feel
down deep in my soul
i'm 'sposed to be merry
so they say
but all i feel is old"

alone i face eternity
with no woman's love
and so salvations
no good to me
with no woman's love.

earth itself is paradise
no eden can compare
except when love is lost forever
then its all nowehere.

and when i stand at the pearly gates
i might see her there
with the man she loves
who isnt me
and heaven is nowhere

maybe i'll be lucky still
the luckiest of men
and why i die
no heaven find
only oblivion.