Tis the morning now
and soon the day begins
work
all day
but the trouble is :
I don't feel well.
I don't ever seem to feel well. lately.
This feeling of congested nose
where my blood flows
my chest
hard to take a breath
and tired
always tired
till I drink more coffee
and then feel wired
my heart
is heavy
in my breast
and my dreams are filled with
dark obsess
with memories of sex gone by
and love now lost
and questions why
and this one thought
unchanged
unshaken
this tear drop
suicide
lost soul
gonna die
burn in hell
forever
why
because this life
the way it feels
this lonely lost love
broken flesh
impotent and weak
and pained
and numbness
of the soul and brain and finger tips
and hungry lips
and empty arms
this one thought
that does not want to live
if life can not have some better way
perhaps I will die
perhaps I do not care
it is not enough to live
there most be pleasure.
tongue twirling
flavors
and the scent
and that electricity
that building of the energy
that breaths
and hyperventilates
and holds that moment
in the crux
and moves
through radiant deluxe and grows and is made stronger still
with every wave of shuddering thrill
you know what it is I mean
the tops- the best- the most high keen
I ask it plainly.
when life no longer holds this greatest delight
then why be alive?
