wistful.
a fist full of memories
that don't run away like sand
and these legs of jello
that try to take a stand
i wiggle and I jiggle and i quake
and i am certain only of my past mistakes
this heart full of passions
and these arms full of need
and each day unfurls like flags of glory
to someone else's deeds
and folds again like ceremonies
from the coffin of this day
as night rises up like walls of earth
the day sinks into the soil
the spirit of the night comes on
to wail its song of sorrow.

give us this day our daily bread
but really
give us what we truly need
and help us to find joy
and strength.

her soft sweet voice

will any other one
ever bring me joy?

oh calamity.

Harry Nilsson's version of without you.

time and time again
i am thrown back into these black whirlpools of despair
that longs only for you
and about all else
does not really care

but there is also
this other sentimental sadness
that is harder to explain

but it is the reason
that Harry Nilsson's version of the song 'Without You'
is the one that really matters
and it is that crown
yet even that jewel in the crown
of all realities
and the benevolent
feature
of the heart
wants to find encouraging words
for every wayward wandering soul
but always at the heart of things
is that energy and that shape
which is the face and name of beauty
and the movement and the sound of truth

and goodness knows that the two are rarely in the same place at once

but there it is
the seeker after
this rare delight

lost
again
in thought.

the hollow lump

there is a solid rock of poison death
as black and foul as Satan's breath
as hard and sharp as knives of steel
as painful as all that is real
and now
it sits within my stomach
and drags upon my breathing
and it weighs within my spirit
and burns dark and rank and seething
it is the spell of reality
and it insists
that i must digest its every morsel
and that i can not resist.

prone

It feels like the world doesn't really need me
I feel so weak and frail.

something may just come along and distract me for a good long while
you would never know it on the street
the way i smile and smile.

There's just one thing I really need
the way it feels
the way it tastes

there are just two words
that i want to be said
about me every day
by just the one
for whom it matters

they say I know

They say I know

that I am alright
that I am ok

but I know that its not really that a way.

I know who I am
and I know how I feel
and I know that this loneliness is really real.

I know that I am a loser and a god damned fool

I know that i am going to burn in hell.

I need all of those superficial beauties
and all those deeper ones too.

I need my health back
and my now lost youth

I need to believe in romance and have something to give and to get

I thought I had found love
but I guess that wasn't it yet

love is not love if it ends

no

they say

I know